


Sticky Situation (Losing Home)

by lw531



Series: MJ's Peter [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kree, MJ POV, Whump, angsty, peter whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21895798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lw531/pseuds/lw531
Summary: “I’m only coming in as a weapons and tech consultant. I haven’t given anyone access to Edith and so...”he stops talking and she caught him staring at her with the Prague sad face, he doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to leave and he’s scared.She swallows hard before saying, “Okay.”“I won’t go anywhere else,” he says as she approaches him, “I’m just explaining how the weapons work and--“Just come back home, babe,” she whispers before pecking him on the lips, “I’ll be here.”“And we can celebrate all those PhD interviews,” he said, “just you and me…”“I love the fuck out of you, Peter Parker,” she says taking him in her arms.orThe year MJ finishes her master's thesis, Peter joins the Avengers in capturing a Kree spaceship and headed to combat them. Told from MJ’s point of view, we follow the effects of Peter’s departure on the lives of those he loves.
Relationships: Betty Brant/Ned Leeds, Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker
Series: MJ's Peter [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562398
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Sticky Situation (Losing Home)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to Returning Home and takes place about 6 y after FFH

##  Christmas Day Spooning 

“Hey, Tiger,” MJ says as she sets her chin over Peter’s shoulder. 

He pauses from washing dishes as MJ creeps her cold hands into his shirt. That winter morning, they welcome relief over his bruised sides and aching torso, “Merry Christmas,” he whispers tilting his head on hers. 

“Thanks for washing the dishes,” she says kissing the crook of his neck, “I’d have liked you to stay in bed a  _ little  _ longer.”

“Me, too,” he said as he set the last dinner dish in the drying rack. Turning around he says, “the pain woke me up, bruised ribs and the stabbing…”

She lifted his shirt to see the gash he received two nights ago closing, and the bruises blooming out of blue into a yellow-green. The scratches across his chest gone, she smooths her hand across his front, planting a kiss over where his heart, From your reaction to my hands, it looks like you need cold packs this morning.” she starts setting ingredients on the counter, “You can lay down and I’ll cook breakfast.”

“MJ--

“Merry Christmas, Peter Parker,” she says pulling 2 cold compresses out of the freezer. Handing them to him she says, “you just took down a crime syndicate two days before Christmas, the least I could do is make breakfast.”

He grunts on his way to the sofa, setting the compresses on his torso as he stretches out against the sofa. Taking in their Christmas tree and decor, he recalls the post-Christmas celebrations at the Starks’. They’d come a long way over the years, choosing to stay in New York for college, being able to move into an off campus apartment two years in and working through his increased ability to Spider-Man without having to worry about on-campus security catching him in the suit. 

“You know,” he begins to say, “I didn’t expect them to have  _ that  _ many armed people.”

“I know,” she says looking up from the mixing bowl.

“And I didn’t mean to cancel dinner with your sister--

“She cancelled on us too anyway,” MJ said, “baby with a fever. Thought I told you?”

“Oh,” he said sinking into the sofa further and searching around his head for his phone. 

“Don’t you dare read the news, Parker,” she warns as she reaches for the waffle iron. “You can let New York City take care of itself on Christmas Day.’

“It’s not like I can go anywhere,” he says taking in the smell of cinnamon pancakes wafting from the kitchen. 

“Yeah,” MJ chuckles, “because a few bruises totally keep you from chasing bad guys…

“I’ll just play--

“Peter,” she says coming over to him, “find something to do that’s  _ not  _ on a screen.”

He looks up at her, loose hairs sweeping her forehead, NYU sweatpants splattered with batter, coupled with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow. She holds out her hand, “Phone, Parker?”

“But--

“Phone,” she says, “and I’ll go to queens to get you DelMar’s sandwiches tomorrow before we head upstate.”

“Don’t toy with me, MJ,” he says narrowing her eyes at her. 

“You know I never toy with DelMar’s,” she says snatching his phone away from him. She sets it to charge on his side of the bed, and returns to the kitchen to serve them both pancakes. 

They spend the day eating pancakes, watching  _ A Christmas Story,  _ Peter spooned inside Michelle. “I wish I didn’t have to share you with anyone this season,” she whispers in his ear. 

“The don’t,” he says. “This is enough.” 

  
  


After a decadent series of weeks spooning each other, eating out their fridge, thesis writing and light Spider-Manning, MJ and Peter head back to school and work feeling refreshed. MJ juggles her assistantship with thesis writing while Peter juggles master’s courses, Avenger recruitment, and Spider-Manning. 

MJ does her best to meet milestones for when Peter returns from swinging, but she’s usually working a chapter by the time he swings back home. When he comes back bruised, she foregoes writing, nursing him back to health, “MJ,” he says from his position on the couch, “you’re almost done--

“This won’t take long,” she says bandaging his scar, “and you know I do this as much for me as for you…”

“Aww, MJ,” he says, “I want you to finish.”

She looks at him, smooths her hand against his cheek and says, “I’ll be okay. You also realize if I pass, I have no idea where I’ll be getting my PhD--

“Not yet,” he says, “and you know you’ll have your pick of schools. Your thesis is making critical interventions in trauma studies, that’s what Pepper told me when you presented your findings to--

“Pepper’s like an aunt,” MJ says running her fingers through his brown curls. “And while that’s true, there are those who would think me too ambitious…that’s what I heard when I tried to propose my idea, remember?”

“You’ll pass your explanation, and move on in your program,” he says laying back, “and we’ll get married when  _ I’m done  _ with my masters and then you’ll support me through my PhD…”

“That’s a great plan, Parker,” she says kissing his forehead as she lifts from squatting next to him. “And I hope you’re right.”

“I’ll love you wherever you go, Michelle Jones,” he adds in a more grounded voice as she walks away from the couch, “you know that.”

“I know,” she says, turning to see he’s sat up and turned to look at her. Playing with her engagement ring, “I just want the rest of our lives to start, Peter Parker.” 

After grabbing her tea, she rests on top of him and says, “I’d marry you yesterday…”

“I’d have your babies,” he says in response, kissing her nose. 

“I may hold you to that.” 

Despite the reassurance they give each other, he’s out extra late the night before her thesis is due She’s on the couch, copy editing the bibliographic information when he swings in. “It was a slow night,” Peter said as he closes the window and pulls down the blinds. “So I went a little further than Queens…”

“You’re fine,” she says cackling at her keyboard, “I’m just about done.” 

“That’s just so great, MJ!” he says rushing towards her. 

She holds her hand up. 

“Gimme five minutes and I’ll bathe you with excited kisses.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says saluting her before sliding out of his suit. 

She hears him pad to their room as she uses Microsoft Word to alphabetize her References Section. 

He returns with a heavy blanket and a condom, asking, “Ready to celebrate?”

They end up falling asleep on the couch, Peter sandwiching her between him and the back of the couch. The kind of happy she savors. 

##  A surprise attack 

In the morning, she wakes to find cold air where Peter had been. On stretching, she sees a fully-dressed Peter setting her tea to steep. “Good morning, love,” she says stretching, “how long you been awake?”

“A while,” he says, eyebrows furrowed, “Carol Danvers called.” 

“Off upstate?” 

He nods with a sigh and says, “We need to use Edith to prevent the Kree from reaching earth, especially beyond New York City--

She feels the blood drain from her face. 

“I’m only coming in as a weapons and tech consultant. I haven’t given anyone access to Edith and so...”he stops talking and she caught him staring at her with the Prague sad face,  _ he doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to leave and he’s scared.  _

She swallows hard before saying, “Okay.”

“I won’t go anywhere else,” he says as she approaches him, “I’m just explaining how the weapons work and--

“I trust you,” she says, pressing her forehead against his, “I trust you.”

“I hate this, too,” he says grabbing her arms, “I don’t want to--

“Just come back home, babe,” she whispers before pecking him on the lips, “I’ll be here.”

“And we can celebrate all those PhD interviews,” he said, “just you and me…”

“I love the fuck out of you, Peter Parker,” she says taking him in her arms. 

After kissing him, goodbye, she reviews her thesis one more time before submitting, and via text, he apologizes for not being there to celebrate even more. Text is how they communicate over the next series of days. 

She reminds herself they’ve talked about the limited communication possible when there’s a mission. She reminds herself that it’s okay to go to school, follow up with research projects and practicum. She reminds herself that he promised he would not go fight and that she gave her word to be there. She reminds herself they are stronger and smarter than they were with Mysterio. 

He makes a point to text updates about double checking the armor and weapons and sending them off. Pepper and Morgan taking her out to lunch on Thursday, four days into prep. It’s an unusually warm day in March, so they sit outside to eat, taking in the effects of the heat wave on their beloved city. “Glad they cancelled school today,” Morgan says eating a fry off her plate, “I mean we don’t really know--

“Peter was telling me that Nebula, Valkyrie and Thor were doing their best to keep them from coming--

“Yeah,” Pepper said resting her hand on MJ’s, “Morgan here’s just happy she missed a lit test--

Morgan rolls her eyes and takes a bite of her burger, grimacing at her mother. 

The rest of lunch focuses on the kind of study MJ would like to do for her PhD, Pepper’s efforts to continue to scavenge for STark weapons in the wrong hands when all of a sudden there’s a spaceship in the sky. Not one of theirs. Far enough to walk and not run for cover. MJ moves slowly, eyes on the sky. She hadn’t heard from Peter since the morning, I miss you message he’d sent. 

She texts Ned

_ How’s it going? We just saw the ship.  _

**The newer Avengers are going out, Em, taking on Kree who are exiting the ship. Peter’s there.**

_ Thanks, with Pepper and Morgan. Please keep me updated.  _

**Of course. So glad Betty’s in Chicago today.**

_ Yeah, I thought they were being kept-- _

**There was more than one battalion.**

MJ makes sure not to text too much; she’s being a worried girl right now. She fiddles with her engagement ring, doing her best to stay calm. 

##  And he’s gone 

Watching from a distance is different than DC and different than Mysterio but the gut feeling is the same. Will she have time? WIll she see him again to tell him how she feels? She’d gotten used to be in love, thinking about the wedding, the way they’d raise their kids with Ned and Betty. As fears ran through her mind, so too did the need to do something, to manage something. 

She looks at Pepper on the phone granting permissions and at Morgan taking in her first intergalactic attack, her facial expressions going from fear to anger to grief. “It’s gonna be okay, Mo,” MJ says setting her arm around her. 

“So, this is what it feels like,” Mo jokes tucking a lock behind her ear. 

Comforting Mo is a good enough task, talking about past attacks and how they survived them, how MJ responded and engaged differently with each one. “It becomes a matter of figuring out what you can and can’t do,” MJ explains, “going for cover and…”

“Yeah,” Mo says, “I really hate it when Mom’s right--

“About?”

“If anything bad happens, I’d wish I’d have a test today…”

They laugh for a bit. When their nervous chuckles grow silent, MJ checks her phone again. No word. 

She goes into crisis management mode, talking with wait staff, helping pass out water, and talking to emergency personnel about what she knows given Pepper’s insights. She gives them enough to calm down but not too much given what remains uncertain. 

Strangers are talking to each other, some of them recalling where they were when the blipped. Others are distracting themselves with phone games. Still others are talking to loved ones. She hasn’t experienced a global threat with Peter since Mysterio, she holds on to the fact that they love each other, they tell each other often and he promised her he wouldn’t leave the planet without her. 

It was an agreement they made in high school, young and in love, she was determined to let him know she’d want to fight along with him. That she wanted to learn. He trained her with basics, basics she insisted on developing. She went to self-defense class, first at school and then she sought kick-boxing training for a couple years till their Wakandan term studying abroad. As they ate with Shuri and Okoye, she insisted she wanted to prepare for battle.

“Maybe next time I visit,” Okoye says, “we can train…”

“I’d like that,” MJ said smiling. Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Women here are the strongest of warriors, colonizer,” Shuri tells Peter, “you would be so lucky. 

“I know, and I mean no disrespect but--

“Not all of us who dare to fight need to have Spider bites give us the strength to,” Okoye interrupts. 

He sighed, obviously outnumbered. After they leave, she reassures him by saying, “Knowing something, even if a little thing, gives me the strength to--

“To what?” he asks, “I don’t fight because I want to and I don’t want to even imagine you--

“To come home like you do after a bad night of swinging,” she told him, “I don’t wanna fight either, I do, however, want to defend what’s mine…”

With the sound of guns and jets outside, MJ tries to find her way to a safe window, “I’ll be right back,” she tells Morgan. Weaving through huddled tears, laughter, and sniffles, she catches the spaceship floating in the air and clutches the Black Dahlia necklace around her necklace. They’ve called on the drones to attack. She checks her phone again. 

No word. 

_ Ned?  _ She texts,  _ it looks like the drones are on it… _

**Yeah,** he responds,  **I’m really gonna have to figure out how to tell Betty the truth if we’re gonna get married after this--**

_ Leeds?  _

**She low key wants to get married and have me move out there...I hope I can convince her to stay but I’ll need--**

_ Now you’re talking about your wedding plans?  _

**Helps keep me distracted, friends are attacking aliens and their robots, you know?**

_ Sorry,  _ she texted him,  _ I’m not doing a good job of keeping it together.  _

**It’s because you’re supposed to get married in a year and your fiance’s on the front lines--**

_ Thanks for confirming my suspicions.  _

**Sorry--**

_ Don’t be, at least I know he’s on earth,  _ she texts. 

She sees bubbles floating, longer than she cares to so she assumes he just hasn’t figured out what to say. She looks up and out the window, seeing a few fly their way up to the spaceship. 

_ Looks like the spaceship is leaving,  _ she texts taking it in. 

**_Peter’s phone wasn’t working,_ ** Ned texts,  **but he promises he’ll be back soon.**

She watches the Kree ship fly back into the atmosphere. She turns around to look at Pepper. Pepper has a knowing look on her face. “How did you do this?” she asks as Pepper approaches her, “how do you do any of this?”

She’s crying in Pepper’s arms, Morgan wrapping around her other half. They stay like that as others get news it’s safe to go home. As her sobs quiet, Pepper says, “One day at a time, Em, one day at a time.” 

“I can’t go home--

“We’ll send for your things,” Pepper says, “there’s a place for you and Ned to stay in the building…”

##  Waiting 

She and Ned rush to each other as soon as she’s on the floor, “I’m so sorry, Em,” he says, “he sounded awful--

“Does May know?” she interrupts him, “I mean, have we--

Ned nods. “She’s leaving us to keep her informed. Being in the building would be too much for her and she doesn’t want to put anybody out with her--

MJ takes a deep breath, “I’ll make a point to visit her,” she says, “do we know how long they’ll be away?”

“At least a week of travel there,” Ned says pulling up the map. “Shuri is working on a ship that can go get them, T’Challa, Okoye, and…” Ned explains the plan of attack and strategy as he understands them. Half of what he says goes in one ear and out the other. She picks up on the names, the reasons Dr. Strange isn’t involved and what it will take to bring them back. “Fuck!” she thinks out loud.

“What?” Ned asks closing the map.

“My Stanford interview,” she says, “it’s next Monday…”

“We can prep here,” Ned offers, “we can go over questions and…

“You’re the best bro, Ned,” she says hugging him, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Em,” Ned says patting her hair, “Peter will be here before you know it. We’ll be keeping busy.”

She takes in a deep breath, “We have each other….”

She goes home, grabs as much as she needs--books, clothes, sketch pads--and then heads back to the Stark tower. She and Ned review the questions, drinking coffee, taking breaks for Uno and reports from Wakanda regarding the status of their tech. 

They fall asleep over the books, waking up with pain and exhaustion. She goes to work and school the following day, hair as messy as she used to keep it her sophomore year in high school. She goes through the motions of the day, holding onto it for its consistency. Colleagues try to talk about the Kree but she keeps what she knows to herself, headed back to the Stark Tower by the time her work is done. 

Immediately after her Stanford interview, her advisor sends her feedback she has a month to complete. She divides her time between her thesis and other responsibilities as a way of distracting her from the news. She keeps up with the updates they receive from Carol and Thor, which states they’ll be there longer than planned. “Everyone’s doing what they can here,” Carol says, “apologies to mothers, aunts and fiances,” she adds looking at MJ. “Parker can’t stop talking about how you’re gonna kill him when he gets back.”

MJ laughs, a tear falling, and jokes, “may just move up our wedding date.”

“I’ll relay the message,” Carol says with a wink. 

It’s enough to get MJ through to Spring Break, she hopes. After the update, Ned pulls out to the Stark lounge for coffee, “So it looks like we’re getting married in the summer,” he begins, “the attack put life in perspective and she got a residency here, so…”

“Congrats, Leeds!”

“It freaked her out to have me so close to the action,” Ned explains, “and she doesn’t want to put our life on hold anymore, but…”

“But?”

“I gotta tell her about Spider-Man,” he confesses, “like I’m not getting married with secrets.”

MJ shakes her head, “I agree, you shouldn’t.”

“I wish I could ask Peter if…”

“He’ll understand,” MJ interrupts resting a hand on his arm, “you’re family. She’s family. And how else are you going to explain how long he’s been gone?”

“You’re a good bro, Jones,” Ned says setting his hand on hers, “I know this is hard…”

“But I’m not alone,” she says offering a smile, “And I’m here…”

She grows fairly accustomed to going to the Stark Tower as it cuts her commute home and minimizes cooking time and space to manually reorganize her thesis according to her advisor’s recommendations. She focuses on the positive, her budding friendship with Shuri whose interest in her dissertation increases and as her familiarity with Shield and Stark staff normalize. 

Spring break, however, with a complete thesis submitted, a defense to schedule, and the news that the battle’s intensified and no idea of the end in sight, she struggles to get out of bed.  _ Peter was supposed to be back  _ by now. 

##  Moving Forward 

She decides it’s time for her to stay at home, unwilling to share her tears and distress in public. May comes over and they clean the fridge, laugh over Peter’s habits and talk about the anxiety of waiting. 

Their Queens apartment feels empty, echoes of the memories of their laughter, arguments, and making up being insufficient to ease the strain. “There are more of them, this time,” May says, “for better or worse the experiments people are doing to prevent the Infinity War from happening again are...many.” 

“I am struggling with selfish feelings,” MJ said, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand, “and I know that he, that so many others are working for us and…”

“And we would rather have Peter here,” May interrupts, “that’s not selfish, Em.”

MJ offers a smile. 

Happy joins them for dinner and they talk about other events, anything but Peter, given the tears they had shared earlier that day; They leave her in the apartment. She looks around at their small square footage, the couch they sleep on more than their bed and tries to focus on hope. 

She wakes up to banging on the door, “MIchelle Jones! Michelle Jones!” she hears Betty’s voice right through the door, “MIchelle Jones!” 

She zips Peter’s hoodie around her and drags herself to the door. She opens it and, per her expectation, Betty offers a: “This past month must have been hard for you. I am so sorry you are going through this terrible ordeal.”

“So Ned just told you?”

Betty nods, closes the door behind her. “I am sorry to be here so early,” she admits taking off her jacket, “Seeing you in Peter’s hoodie, I realized I may have--

“I rather deal with your anger than my….”

“Feelings?”

MJ shrugs and nods. “I do need some tea, though,” she says, “so take a seat and we’ll get to talking about anything you want. I need someone else to be angry at Peter with me…”

“Oh, sweetie,” Betty says taking her into a hug. 

“I mean,” she says. “I understand the logic of keeping the secret, I just...that’s a lot to take in after knowing he’s left.”

MJ nods as she pulls her loose leaf jasmine green tea from the cupboard, “he’s horrible at keeping secrets…”

“Except this one,” Betty says sitting at MJ’s kitchen table, “And I think it’s mostly because people expected so little of him...Ned and I bickered a lot yesterday, mostly about me being pissed he lied to me for all this time.”

MJ turns to give Betty an affirming nod, “I would be--Peter told me he wouldn’t leave the Sunday before he did--

“No!” 

She nods, “I mean it’s the heat of the moment, so objectively I get it, but we agreed when he started recruiting more avengers that...no leaving the planet without me--

“That’s sweet,” Betty said as the water began to boil.

“OH,” MJ say setting out the honey and sugar, “I was--am--serious. Part of the reason I went to Wakanda was to, you know, learn…”

“You went to Wakanda, and you met--

MJ sighs and nods, “Shuri and Pete are science bro’s so I developed some friendships by proximity…”

They continue to talk about live as friends of the Avengers and what it means to live this life of secrecy. It’s a normal conversation between friends who finally have no more secrets between them. They eventually talk about Betty’s fellowship at Presbyterian and MJ’s uncertain future for her PhD. Betty eventually reconnected with her frustration making jokes about it and what it would mean for her wedding. “I feel like I would be a bridezilla--

MJ almost chokes on her tea because Betty’s right.

“And I feel like the best way to support Ned is to move our lives forward without, you know,” she said, “theatrics. So whenever Peter gets back, he can step in, we go to city hall and get married…”

“Serious?”

Betty nods, “one of my best friends is going out with people to fight aliens who wanted to kill us,” she sighs, “I don’t want a big wedding to be remembered. I want the love Ned and me have for each other to be a celebration of life, and being high maintenance isn’t going to cut it.”

MJ nods, “pretty dope there, Brant.”

They spend the day together, catching up on their careers, ambitions and their extended families. As progressive and independent as they touted being in high school, MJ thinks to herself, they’ve become more grounded women in their twenties, something MJ spends the rest of the day appreciating. 

Given the weekend to realize she’s not sure when she and Peter are getting married, the desperation of not knowing what he’s going through overwhelms her. Instead of crying or staying awake, she sleeps through the weekend. She awakes on Monday with a dozen missed calls and urgent text message from her sister. “I have news,” Riley’s message says…

She calls her sister first, leaving her on surround speaker, as she rushes to get ready for work. “Girl!” Riley yells, “you know what it’s like to not hear from you for more than a day?!”

“Not like you don’t know where I live,” MJ said, “got caught up in work, with Peter away on work, no idea of his return” she lies while putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. 

“Mom and Dad came up yesterday,” she said, “because...I’m pregnant!” 

MJ drops her toothbrush and squeals for joy. “How far along? Are you okay? Please don’t gender the baby yet,” and other ramblings. 

“Three months,” Riley says, “don’t know how I missed it, guess I thought it was stress at work, and I’m doing great! Doctor’s are content that my pregnancy is going so well and that I work so hard at eating well already...I gotta take prenatal vitamins to be on the safe side but…”

The potential new addition in her family distracts her for a few more days till she gets a call from Pepper to come into the tower. Arriving there on Friday afternoon, trying to focus on the positive that she can celebrate, Pepper receives her in the lobby and invites her to stroll with her outside. “How you doin, Em?” she asks. 

“I’m going to be an aunt, Ned’s getting married over the summer, and my thesis defense is in two weeks,” she says with a sigh, “anything else and I’ll go mad.” 

Pepper nods as they around the busy corner, “Good idea. Running the company kept my mind occupied whenever there was nothing else I could control. I also started, well,” she said, “running.”

“Running?” MJ asks as they cross the street. 

“Yeah,” Pepper says, “every morning. There’s a track in the tower for when I need to, in the winter months. Others are open to use it…”

“That’s amazing,” MJ said, “I usually just paint or draw my stress out of met.”

“I know you’re not sleeping or eating well,” Pepper says, “I can see it in your face. I’ll come by your house on Monday,” she says, “I want you to join me.”

“Join you?”

Pepper nods, “I don’t want you to lose yourself to this,” Pepper says setting her hands on MJ’s shoulders, “there are few of us who build lives with people who dedicate themselves to saving the world for a living...we have to stick together.”

“Thanks,” MJ says blushing, “I mean I’m really busy but--

“I will pick you up before sunrise,” Pepper says squeezing MJ’s shoulders, “be ready.”

Running with Pepper gives her time to think about more than everyone else’s news and, by the third day, she’s reading her mail and coming to terms with the fact that she has a couple weeks to decide where to go to graduate school. The unfunded programs are easy to say no to, but she’s between two, neither of which keep her in New York. 

Three days before she’s expected to submit a yes, a conversation with Shuri helps her come to terms with a difficult yet professionally sound answer. With that decision, she knows she’s got some strenuous conversations ahead. 

  
  


##  Women’s Choices 

May brings flowers and Delmar’s sandwiches the day after her defense, “I just wanted to be here for you,” she says handing her a bouquet. “Peter must be devastated he wasn’t here--

“Thanks, May,” she says letting her in the house, “I really appreciate you stopping by.”

May nods, “Of course, sweetie,” she answers squeezing MJ’s hand. 

“Would you like some tea, or--

“Tea would be nice,” May says taking a seat on the couch. She looks around the house, tucks her graying hair behind her ear, “I’m sorry I haven’t come in to check on you.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t checked on you,” MJ says, “I’m not sure how to do any of this--

“Me either, hun,” May says, “hope is all I have, and sometimes it’s hard, it feels, selfish, to--

“It’s not selfish,” MJ interrupts setting the kettle to boil and sits next to May.

“I hope you are being more selfish,” May says clearing her throat, folding her hands over themselves. 

“They haven’t heard anything for a couple weeks; but Kree are retreating…”

“That’s good,” May says with a smile, “that’s good.”

“Yeah,” MJ says getting up and grabbing the kettle off its heater, “just hoping they come back home soon…”

“I hope you’re being more selfish than that, though,” May says taking her tea cup from MJ. 

“I’m sorry?”

“I know you have two schools to choose from and not a lot of days left,” May says taking a deep breath and then meeting MJ’s eyes. 

“May, I--

“I just hope you keep in touch when you leave,” May says.

“I haven’t made a decision,” MJ responds, her heart squeezing itself in her chest, “I wouldn’t--

May smiles, “Never mind,” blinks tears away from her eyes and says, “talk to me about your work, I’d love to hear how it went…”

She hated lying to May, but she wasn’t in a place to cry in front of a person who didn’t know where her nephew-son was. However much she had Happy, he wasn’t Peter, he wasn’t her boy like Peter was. Pepper’s knock on the door followed by her loud phone alarm got her up the following day. She ran through the tears, swallowed the sobs, coming to terms with her graduation, her best friends’ wedding to each other, and the new addition to her bio fam. “You know,” Pepper says as they near the Stark Tower, “Laura Barton’s here wanting to see if there’s anything.”

“She left the farm?”

“It’s not every day your daughter decides to carry on the family tradition…”

“Hmm,” MJ says wiping her brow. “Will she be here for long?”

“About a week,” Pepper says, “Nathaniel and Morgan are good friends, so…”

“I’ll be by to see her next week,” MJ said, “Thanks for letting me know.”

The following Tuesday, MJ’s decision mailed in, she joined Laura for lunch in between classes. They ate in the Stark Tower lounge. The lounge was bustling with people from different departments. It was fancier than an airport food court, fine dining integrated into the benefits of working for Stark. MJ ordered a salad and a burger; Laura ordered soup, under orders they’d be on Pepper’s tab. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me,” MJ said as they found a table near the window. 

“Family of the avengers gotta stick together,” she said, “I asked Pep how you were doing and I’m glad you had time.”

“You asked Pep?”

Laura nodded, “I know you know Kate better than me, but I wanted to meet you because, you know, there was no one in my position twenty plus years ago…”

MJ looked down and away, blinking to stop the tears. 

“I didn’t agree to as much as you had,” Laura reflects, “the responsibilities are a lot more than they were then…”

“The universe just keeps getting bigger,” MJ shrugs. 

“It does,” Laura jokes, “not all of us agree to have a hand in it, some of us want simpler lives.”

“Some of us do,” MJ sighs after swallowing a bite.

“And some of us can have that simple life in spite of it all,” Laura admits, “as long as we agree to what we really need in all of this; that people give us what we need--

MJ nods, taking a pause on eating. Laura sets her hand on hers, “You’re not alone, you know,” she says, “we know what this feels like...Pepper took her time and rode the wave; I...I kept myself away, and while my daughter chose a different path than I wanted for her, than either of us did, I respect her for it--

“She’s pretty badass!” 

“Thanks,” Laura says with a smile, running her fingers through her hair, “I love my kids. I love my life,” she tells MJ, “but waiting...waiting wasn’t my everyday, Michelle, don’t wait for the rest of your life.”

MJ sobs for the first time since Avengers left in February. Laura sits up to embrace her, saying nothing, only smoothing her hand against MJ’s back, giving her a comfort that her promise to secrecy makes impossible to receive from some of the people she needs the most. 

By June, MJ takes in how much she’d accomplished despite her grief. She completed her master’s thesis and received her degree; she organized an amazing reception for Ned and Betty’s wedding; she hosted her sister’s baby shower, all the while packing up her apartment and looking for another. It was still weird to call the apartment hers. 

Having Saturday brunch with her sister, Riley, in Brooklyn, she apologizes for leaving, “Timing sucks,” MJ says taking a bite of her frittata.

“You’re going to be working with a Wakandan organization opening up to arts based therapy, you can’t worry about me and your nibling--

“Nibling?” MJ squeals. 

“Marcus agreed it would be appropriate to not gender the baby, let them choose for themselves so much to Mom and Dad’s frustration, we’re keeping it that way. Zora,” Riley said drinking her orange juice, “will be their name.”

“Nice!” MJ says. 

“I just expect you to visit at your first chance, you know--

“I will,” MJ says, “I promise you that.”

“Let Marcus know when you need his hands…”

After her Sunday run with Pepper, MJ makes her way to Queens. It’s the trip she’s dreaded despite their weekly phone call, despite her presence at her graduation, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye. 

Knocking on the door, she takes in the sight of one of the favorite doors of her adolescence, taking in a deep breath. “Hey there,” May says on entering, “so glad you stopped by.”

“Hi, May,’ MJ says the tears already coming.

“Oh, now,” May said taking MJ in a hug, “what are those for?”

“Because,” she begins, squeezing the woman, “I didn’t like lying to you--

“I put you on the spot in April,” she said, “I wanted you to do something that--oh, honey…”

“I,” she begins to say between sobs, “I never meant to--

“Lemme get you some water, hon,” she says. “Take a seat on the couch.”

MJ uses the time May takes to make it to the kitchen, pour the water and come back to get herself together. She takes in a deep breath, helpless against stopping the tears. She grabs around her neck, the neck on which she used to wear the Black Dahlia, using its absence to find the courage to have the most difficult conversation of the summer. 

“Moving on is the hardest thing,” May says, “and I know a bit about that…it doesn’t mean you stop loving someone; just means that love means something else.”

MJ takes the ring off her finger, “I just hope he forgives me,” she says wiping a solitary tear. 

“He knew what he was risking getting on that ship,” May says with a sigh, “he knew what he risked every night.”

“I struggled with,” MJ begins gulping, “with giving this to you,” she says placing the ring in May’s open palm, “but a lot’s changed and--

“And you’re going to California in a month,” May interrupts closing it around her hand. 

“Yeah,” MJ says with a sniffle, “Ned?”

“Ned,” May said, “he’s horrible at keeping secrets.” 

MJ nods, “not the important ones,” MJ says squeezing May’s hand. 

“Yeah, that kid,” she says, shaking her head, “I love you two, you know, and I want you to check in on your aunt every so often.”

“I will,” MJ says swallowing the sob in her throat, “I promise.” 

  
  
  
  


##  The Return 

The day after the moving truck starts driving to California, Pepper and Ned ring her phone off the hook. “He lands today, coming to get you” was all Ned’s text had said. 

She kisses her sister’s forehead and says, “Ned needs me for something at Stark Tower, because the Avengers land today…”

“Word?” Riley asks, “go ‘head.” 

On arriving upstate, she, Betty, and Ned wait on the ground floor, surrounded by Pepper, Morgan, May, Happy, and Dr. Strange. Pepper informs her that Kate Bishop radio’d in and Shuri confirmed T’challa and others were stopping upstate before returning to Wakanda. Dr. Strange arrives in the name of supporting pending medical needs, specifically Peter’s sustained injuries. 

Banner carries his limp body in, Thor, Kate, and Banner following. “Carol stayed,” he says, “but she’s doing okay and hopes to send a full report by next week--

MJ’s heart stops on seeing Peter’s Iron Spider suit halfway off, his legs more red than pale and a gash across his arm. He’s in the worst shape she’s seen but she has no more tears left to cry. May’s a mess, following Banner and Dr. Strange to the medical wing of the headquarters. 

She stays downstairs, assessing her sense of belonging there. “C’mon, MJ,” Ned says dragging her along. They make it upstairs, where Banner and Dr. Strange are talking to May and Pepper and Morgan about Peter’s state. “His body chemistry is such that he survived the battle and the trip but his body is rebuilding itself--

“We have no idea how long this will take but,” Dr. Strange adds, “it would be advised to leave him in a medically induced coma so that the pain doesn’t---

“Keep him from healing,” MJ finishes. 

She feels around her neck, torn about the emotions she’s feeling. Everyone stays overnight, MJ taking care to keep May hydrated, Morgan amused via card games. Betty’s in there taking the unique learning opportunity at her disposal. When May leaves his room to eat with Happy, MJ sneaks in taking in Peter breathing with the help of a machine. 

She’s seen him banged and bruised before, and it hurts her to see him like this, connected to machines and ivies feeding him. Her worst fears come to life. She kisses his forehead and whispers, “I love the fuck out of you, Peter Parker.” 

He shifts in place. 

“I hope we can find our way back to each other, Pete,” she says as she walks away, “I really do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading.


End file.
